Nautical Nuisance Narks off Student Scholars!
A gang of bloodthirsty pirates were shipwrecked on the beach beside Albany Park, it was announced yesterday. Several eyewitnesses, including two Swedish joggers and a small dog named Josie, claim that a large pirate galleon crashed into some sharp jaggy rocks after the ship's captain mistook the drunken singing of holiday makers in the caravan park for the captivating melody of the Sirens.
The only evidence police have uncovered so far is a small mandarin with the words 'eat in case of scurvy' stencilled along the side. In a statement to the local press, Lieutenant Pete Constable said: "It's common knowledge that when at sea for long periods of time, all pirates have available to eat are wormy biscuits. Of course these biscuits do not provide the correct levels of vitamin C, leaving them weak and susceptible to scurvy. So, judging by this emergency fruit and the testimonies of the witnesses, we ca